Dear QANTAS

Dear Qantas, Our relationship is over. I am officially breaking up with you. I am sorry to have to tell you this way. I tried to tell you in person at the airport but at 8 o’clock on Friday night, your desk was unoccupied. The kind man driving the bus full of displaced and disgruntled passengers to Bendigo airport, a fate I had come to rescue Wallsy from, smiled politely and pointed us to lost baggage desk, unconcerned for the effect this was having on my relationship with you. The woman behind the lost baggage desk only wanted the details of the missing luggage. She wasn’t interested in the impact this was having on my relationship with you either. Hence, I am writing to you now to explain the irreconcilable differences at the root of this separation. It was a little over 12 months ago, when the cracks in our relationship first became apparent to me. Wallsy and I had booked a Saturday morning flight to Whyalla in order to attend my sister’s 50 th birt...